Births, Deaths and Marriages Resources
Births, Deaths and Marriages
All your BDM resources and frequently asked questions, with easily accessible links and forms.
Need help?
Our support team are here to help, whether it’s a question that’s not covered in our FAQ’s below, something technical, or where to go to find what you need.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I contact for help with wedding and civil union queries?
Contact the Celebrants Aotearoa support team, they are always available to help with any questions you may have and provide any assistance.
A couple has asked me for a “just the legals only” wedding ceremony, and a friend will officiate the “real wedding” - how should I respond to these enquiries?
Mel Stuart has assisted the National Executive in crafting a professional response to enquiries that ask for a “just the legals only” ceremony AND state that a friend/family member will deliver their ceremony at the “real wedding.”
It is also appropriate to use where a Registry ceremony enquiry indicates that a larger event will be held in New Zealand with a non-celebrant taking the ceremony.
Your Wedding Ceremony response
Please email president@celebrantsaotearoa.co.nz or support@celebrantsaotearoa.co.nz with any concerns or queries.
How can I register with BDM as an independent celebrant once I am a celebrants aotearoa member?
To become a registered independent celebrant you must be registered with BDM.
Apply with BDM to become a registered independent celebrant here.
Note: Only Celebrants Aotearoa celebrants who have attained VCANZ are eligible to perform registry weddings throughout the country.
Christmas and New Year - BDM closure dates during the holiday period.
The BDM offices and contact centre will be closed on all New Zealand public holidays.
The specific closure dates can be found on the BDM website here.
Noting that they can only apply 3 working days before their intended date.
Key Information
Registry Ceremonies: These are not available between 25 December and 7 January each year.
Online Services: The website remains available 24/7 for general information and online applications, but these will not be processed until staff return in the new year.
Declining a ceremony - can I decline to officiate a wedding or civil union ceremony, either before or after the licence has been issued?
Yes. The Marriage Act Section 29(1) says “A marriage licence shall authorise but not oblige any marriage celebrant to solemnise the marriage to which it relates.”
You may decline to officiate a Registry ceremony, either when first contacted by a couple or after the licence has been issued to you. Reasons for doing so may include: you are unavailable on the requested date, the distance to the requested venue is too far, or the ceremony described by the couple is well outside the scope of a Registry wedding. Communication difficulties may also lead you to legitimately decline, for instance if the couple do not respond to your calls or messages to confirm their plans, or if you feel pressured by what they are “demanding” (e.g. an unreasonable bombardment of text messages). If physically together with a couple and you feel concerned for your personal safety, you can remove yourself from the situation and advise Celebrants Aotearoa and BDM of the situation.
A marriage licence “authorises you (or any other Marriage Celebrant) to solemnise the marriage.” If you have received a licence for a Registry ceremony and you are not available or willing to officiate it, you can refer it to another VCANZ celebrant in your area. BDM and Celebrants Aotearoa encourage celebrants to help find an alternative celebrant, but this is certainly not a requirement. You can forward the licence and Particulars to the couple and let them find an alternative celebrant themselves.
Email MarriageLicence@dia.govt.nz to ask BDM to re-issue the licence directly to the couple, if you prefer to have no further involvement.
Identification - how do I securely check a couple’s ID before marrying them?
As celebrants, BDM expects us to confirm a couple’s ID before we marry them.
In the case of registry weddings, couples are asked to bring their ID to the ceremony in order for you to confirm prior to the ceremony that they are in fact who they are, as stated on the license – as you have not met them previously. Appropriate forms of photo I.D. are a current passport and/or driver’s license.
“Please note, with regard to ID verification, where an out-of-date ID or alternative forms of ID offered,you, as the marriage celebrant, need to be satisfied that the couple before you are the same people named on the marriage licence. The couple is required to provide proof of identity, and BDM trusts registry celebrants to exercise their professional judgement when checking the couple’s ID. You may need to use your discretion, as people can have a variety of types of identification. If you are not satisfied that the couple before you are those named on the marriage licence you may need to postpone the marriage.”
For weddings, other than registry weddings, you still need to be confident that the marriage license issued is for the couple you are marrying. Easier if you have met and corresponded several times. You may ask to see photo ID; you may know the couple; or you may have checked to see that they have a Facebook account, for example. For local couples, this is not an issue. It can be done at any stage prior to the ceremony taking place: at an interview or at the rehearsal.
In any situation where you are not meeting the couple beforehand (they are from out of town or overseas) then you can check photo ID either at the rehearsal the day before or, if not, at the rehearsal prior to the wedding.
Clear communication
Couples need to be informed that you will view their ID prior to the ceremony and that this is non-negotiable. They need to be diplomatically informed that the wedding cannot proceed without their ID being viewed, and to ensure they have a form of photo ID with them on the day.
Pronounciation - If the couple’s name/s are difficult to pronounce, how do I manage this?
Names are so personal that mispronouncing them can be embarrassing for all parties. If marrying a couple whose full names are difficult to pronounce, can the couple say their full names during their “I AB take you CD….” and introduce them by their first names?
Answer: The Marriage Act defines the legal sentence of marriage as, “I AB take you CD to my legal wife or husband”; this refers to the first and last names for both parties. In recent years, BDM have clarified that as long as the celebrant says the full name of both parties at the start, the couple can just say their first names in that legal sentence of marriage. If however, the parties have names that are tricky for the celebrant to pronounce correctly, using their full names in the introduction can be at the celebrant’s discretion, and first names could be used. In that case, however, BOTH PARTIES MUST SAY THEIR FULL NAMES themselves in the legal sentence of marriage. They do not need to repeat them after the celebrant; it would be sufficient for the celebrant to prompt the parties to insert their spoken full names in the appropriate pause.
See the Marriage Act legislation here.
31 Place and Form of marriage before marriage celebrant
(1) Every marriage solemnised by a marriage celebrant shall be solemnised at a place described in the marriage licence issued in respect of that marriage.
(2) Subject to subsection (3), every such marriage shall take place between the persons named in the licence according to such form and ceremony as they may think fit to adopt, and shall be solemnised in the presence of a marriage celebrant and 2 or more witnesses.
(3) During the solemnisation of every such marriage each party must say to the other—
(a) “I AB, take you CD, to be my legal wife or husband”; or
(b) words to similar effect
Uncertainty about the ceremony - can I decline taking a ceremony if I feel uncomfortable about the ceremony taking place?
As a celebrant, you can refer to section 29(1) of the Marriage Act that says “A marriage licence shall authorise but not oblige any marriage celebrant to solemnise the marriage to which it relates.”
Depending on the circumstances, you may wish to take the party aside and make sure they still want to proceed i.e. that they are voluntarily consenting to getting married. If you (the celebrant) are not comfortable performing the ceremony (aside from human rights issues), you (the celebrant) could suggest that the marriage be postponed or rescheduled. As you know, the couple has 3 months within the validity of the licence to get married, so postponing would give the parties some breathing space. This requires careful negotiation with the parties involved, but it does give leeway in this situation.
Where can I find the Celebrants Aotearoa and VCANZ Logo?
As a member you are able to use the Celebrants Aotearoa logo on digital and printed documents.
Download the logo below:
- Celebrants Aotearoa – Full Logo
- Celebrants Aotearoa – Circular Logo
They can also be found in the Member Hub under member resources.
VCANZ Logo
Celebrants Aotearoa validated members may use the initials VCANZ after their name on their Celebrants Aotearoa website listings and your profile will change from blue to green.
VCANZ members appear before non-VCANZ members when people search the Find your Celebrant listings on the Celebrants Aotearoa website.
You may also use the VCANZ logo on your website and any other marketing material.
The VCANZ logo is provided upon successful completion of VCANZ.